"A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own" - Thomas Mann
The phone rang. It was Friday afternoon, 3:30 or so, and she thought little had changed. She hadn't seen him at school that day, she thought he had been fine the day before. Maybe his parents had planned something without him knowing again. Although that happened infrequently she decided that was a suitable reason. The phone began to ring again, she wondered if she would have to pick it up. She looked around. Her family was idling around, waiting for her to pick it up. It rang a third time. She picked it up and absentmindedly said "Hello."
He walked out to his car, it was early Friday morning. He had a practice, and he didn't want to be late. He got in his car and drove to the school, still a little bit tired. He was glad it was late start, he could take a nap, have time to get ready for school.
His practice went as usual. He could have done better, but he was still getting into shape for the season. Most of the team was shaping up, it would be nice to be on a high school team. He got back to his car, threw his gear in the back and drove home. He drove slower home, he thought it was nice how calm it was in the mornings. It was still a little bit dark outside. He never thought about sunrises during the school day. He tried to see how soon the sun would come up. He got home, his family was all getting ready for the day. It was a satisfying thought that he would be the last one out of the house.
He ran down stairs to take a shower and get ready. He ate breakfast. None of these simple acts seemed special to him. His homework was done, for once, so he sat on his chair and decided he had time to take a nap, it was 8:30. He began to fall asleep. He thought about everything around him, his room, his drum set, his friends, practice that morning, the upcoming season, his breakfast, his classes that day, his siblings, and her. He drifted off. He died in his sleep.
7 comments:
lol, i get the feeling that this story's gonna come along very, very slowly. but you could make it really really good. you better really post s'more!
ok, you did post more, yay you!
although i must say, the fact that he died in his sleep at such a young age without any symptoms or anything is just a bit unusual. but ok.
do we ever get any names for the characters, or all they all just nameless throughout the whole story?
i haven't given them names, i never really came up with any
You see, he's already posted the whole story. That was it. What do you think?
Suddenly dying in your sleep at a young age without any symptoms isn't really unusual at all. He had SIDS (actually he didn't have SIDS because SIDS is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome... which is where infants just die for no reason and have no symptoms... but he wasn't an infant so yeah...) So never mind about that SIDS thing... But really it isn't that unusual... We had a long talk about that in medical anatomy... anyways I'll just shut up now.
-Amanda
Brian, you need a new post.
whether it's about your story or not, you just need to post about something.
...i dont like it
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