Simply Another New Year

Song of the post, "Float On" by Modest Mouse.

In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” 
― Gordon B. Hinckley

As this new year starts many things are coming together; I have lived through 23 of these ritual renewals so prevalent in our society, noticing that I have usually done little with it. Last year around this time I was in Southern Utah hiking a breathtaking mountain with 2 of my best friends. This time around I am in a little piece of paradise on Oahu also hiking mountains and resting on beaches. I am with one other, my wife, best friend and companion. My life's situation has changed, but as always I feel as though I have not, I feel fundamentally the same. On my mission I felt seemingly perfect and invincible frequently and now I feel much the opposite, though all within the same shell.

I am a bigger man now, the high school and mission weight losses have worn off and I am much of what I once was. Many days I feel poor of spirit and poorer of wealth. I am surrounded by many great friends and acquaintances, though like many in our generation I feel that technology has robbed me of many precious moments (perhaps I have robbed myself through technology). Frequently the realization strikes me that I am not the smartest or even close to as smart or knowledgable or wise as I thought I once was. I am not "On Top of the World" nor am I that much lower. This is a post about being average, and the realization that the world is not my oyster.

Maybe it takes something else to truly "Rule the World."

“It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.” 
― Gordon B. Hinckley

Little, if Anything Else...

Song of the post, "I Used to Let You Get to Me" by The Generationals. When one gets on a kick of good music it dies hard, right. I have been listening to them and The Sheepdogs for the past few days, it might become a week long thing. Who really cares, music only matters when one can hear.

I don't have much to say, it's just a rainy day. I enjoy that it is John Steinbeck's birthday, particularly because I have been reading again--I know, a paperback is pretty easy to sneak everywhere. Steinbeck just makes mundane life enjoyable; oh, his brilliant conversations.

Peace, love, happiness, joy.

What is Loneliness?

Song of the post, "Thanks That was Fun" by Bare Naked Ladies. Do you ever have those days when your iPod plays exactly what you are thinking? That has been happening a lot to me recently. It is silly. Maybe it requires me to be thinking more.

This post started in my head very similar to the way the song did, it was just there and I realized that I had something to say.

Who doesn't miss loneliness?

Where did it ever get me?

Why shouldn't I share everything?

Have you thought about all those individual sports and activities that you did as a child (and probably still do) I know for sure I was one of those kids that played soccer, violin, went to class and participated in a million other activities. Violin was my individual 'sport' as a child. I think it was really a way that I could get away and do something that I enjoyed so much then.

I fence. I pick up a sword, put on a mask and forget everyone else in the room but my opponent and the judge standing next to us. That's my individual sport. I couldn't do it directly with anyone else. Sure I spend lots of time practicing, getting along with and enjoying the company of others, but this is something that really stands to be intensely personal.

How many other things in life are like fencing in this way?

 I play magic. Much like fencing I sit down and it becomes me and them. Just a chance to put together a puzzle. For the most part I come out better if not more tired for all the thinking.

How often do I get down (emotionally) doing individual sports?

How much am I my own man?

I go to church. Now that is something that has almost nothing to do with others in the way that I feel and respond. I make my faith more so than any other. Oh, the gifts from God. Beyond this it teaches me that all the social interaction that comes from this 'individual' sport are just that.

What is one man against the world? Well a whole lot, when he is surrounded by a whole lot of other individuals who themselves are having something to do about it.

Yesterday I watched Frozen by myself. I loved the time to think and enjoy a wonderfully weird movie. I thought of all the things I could share with my friends about just how silly it was. I'm glad I didn't share it with them there, because it makes for such better conversation later.

Conversation. So good. Isn't that what this is all about? Meaningful deep and personal conversation. Take a chance have some fun just talking again.


PS. I read some of my old posts, its fun to see how one changes just writing a little bit like this. Now I'm glad I have time for all of this.